Rant Story… What!?!?!

January 23, 2006 at 11:49 pm (Uncategorized)

Starring crazyishone, lava, and me, firemaker103.

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crazy: So, what are we doing here again?

lava: We have to listen to firemaker rant about something.

crazy: o. As long as I’m getting paid, I could listen to just about anything.

firemaker: *glares at the them, rocking slowly*

lava: Um, f—
firemaker: Sit down.
lava: But—
firemaker: SIDDOWN!
All: *quickly sit on floor*
firemaker: So you want your money, eh? Back in my day, we had to WORK for our clues! And we had a harder time of it than just getting coming to listen to me. Nope, we had to walk uphill, both ways to get to our money, and THEN we had to juggle balls with our feet while doing a handstand and writing down a 500-word essay about why we wanted that money! You have it too easy, I tell you.
lava: Phew… have you been taking ranting lessons from crazyishone?
firemaker: crazyishone? He couldn’t rant his way out of a closet!
crazy: I don’t think anyone can… o_O
firemaker: I can! *walks in nearby closet* back in my day, closets didn’t exist! Nope, if we wanted to hang our clothes up in places no one could see, we’d attach them to the ceiling and hide them behind ourselves whenever anyone came over! Which was annoying, so we didn’t invite people over very often.
Closet: I’M MELTING! *starts to disappear* or just disappearing. And I’m talking, which is pretty weird. *disappears*
firemaker: Ah, that was invigorating. *goes back to chair* Where was I?
lava: I think you were talking about how swords are the coolest thing since sliced bread. And they can slice bread. Or was I day dreaming?
crazyishone: -_-;; daydream. You were talking about how I couldn’t rant my way out of a closet. And I said “I don’t think anyone can… o_O”
firemaker: I can! *gets up* HEY, WHERE’D MY CLOSET GO!?
lava: Don’t ask. Just continue your rant.
firemaker: Ah yes. Where was I?
lava: *sigh* You were saying how crazyishone couldn’t rant is way out of a closet!
crazyishone: And I said– *gets slapped by lava* Ow!
firemaker: Ah yes. Well, back in my day he couldn’t. I’m the one who taught him everything he knows about ranting. Back in my day, the best thing he could come up with was “Back in my day… wait, it is my day! Yay! ^_^”
lava: Aaaaaand what’s wrong with that?
firemaker: IT MADE SENSE, DAGNABBIT! The downfall of any ranter! That’s what my grandfather used to say to me. “Rants aren’t supposed to make sense,” he’d say. “The more confusing, the better. Eventually, people will stop trying to understand and think of you as a wise old man,” Ah, Grandpa. A good old man. He went on to enter and win ranting competitions, to see who could make the judges fall asleep first. He always won of course, and the competition…

***

firemaker: …and another thing, this website would be horrible without me! I’m the only good part about it. All the people come here for is me, right!? Admit it! They love me. WordPress got some thank-yous to give out… ‘course, back in my day, we didn’t have any of these fancy thank-yous. Nope, if we wanted to show gratitude, we had to perform rituals like throwing frisbees at otters and chewing fire. Only then did the other guy know you wanted to thank him. I remember one time…
questleader: I was supposed to get some free money here?
firemaker: Huh? Oh sure, here you go. *gives money to questleader and turns back to lava and crazyishone* Anyway, they had to kiss an alarm clock until it went off. And if they forgot to set the alarm clock to go off beforehand, well, then, they’re screwed.

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Unreal Tournament 2004, Small Maps

January 7, 2006 at 9:14 pm (Uncategorized)

Greatest game of all time. I mean it. Once you play it, you’ll see. It has very expansive maps, ignoring that a certain person, not giving out names*cough*crazyishone*cough*, said they were very limited compared to Halo. Well what do you know, I have a spare copy of Halo right next to me. I popped it in, installed it, yadda yadda yadda, and started it up. I first played through the first level of the campain, The Pillar of Autumn, or something like that. Anywya. I went online and selected a CTF game. What were you talking about? It was so small compared to most maps of Unreal. It’s, like, atleast half the size of the maps in Unreal. On a totally off-topic subject, I like the weapons better in Unreal. Now they are getting Unreal 2007.

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Indie Coders

January 7, 2006 at 2:09 am (Uncategorized)

People under value indie coders. Just because we don’t have great graphics or levels and such, we learn. We usually provide great gameplay and listen to our customers. So why people, why? Ever play one of their games? Ever even try to program? No? That’s what I thought. Try. Start here: http://www.blitzbasic.com

After a year or so, you still can’t even perfect a BASIC language. Don’t get me wrong, some are very successful such as Glimmer Games and CloverLeaf Games.

Please. Stay away from sterotypes. Live and Learn. Indie Game’s Rule!

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Nintendo DS Wifi

January 7, 2006 at 1:53 am (Uncategorized)

I hate people who argue of why Nintendo’s Wifi is so limited. Especially those people at the official forums. Mad
First of all, it’s one of there first online services. Anyway, could you do any better? I think not. Why is it limited to only four players? Lag I tell you, lag. The internet is like that. IF you play Halo, you know what I mean. Also, the Nintendo DS’s hardware isn’t powerful enoguh for more than four people. Why does the PSP allow 16 people. They have experiance with better hardware. The Revolution is only going to be a little better than the xbox… They also have a lot more experiance thne Nintendo, what with the PS2 hook-up.

In all, stop complaining about it. Stop asking for new features. Once you program a game, even an offline commercial game, you will see what I mean.

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Hello!

January 7, 2006 at 1:41 am (Uncategorized)

Welcome to my rant page! Here I will post all of my weird, pointless rants. Enjoy, though…

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